i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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