He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
