Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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