Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize