I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize