i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it because I queefed?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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