Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
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