If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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