Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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