Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
