There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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