he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
