Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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