i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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