Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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