i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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