Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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