Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Come see our sink grown plant.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.