so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
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I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.