Can i not drive my cunt home
My liver just broke up with me...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?