i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.