I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.