Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS