My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's official drugs can't kill me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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