one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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