Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize