A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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