that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
