oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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