using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
