He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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