if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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