My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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