driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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