i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.