you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.