I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All the doctor said was why