Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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