I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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