I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
