She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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