My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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