you guys were way drunker than both of me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.