no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man