We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
