reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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