Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
