He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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