so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize