Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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