When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize