there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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