I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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