I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize