If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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