Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize