I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
