I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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