so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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