Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
